November 3, 2021

My Baby is a NICU Warrior

Today we start the countdown to World Prematurity Day, which will be commemorated on November 17th. As a preemie mother I want to share my story for a memoir and a very tiny little bit of education for preemie parents out there.

My daughter was born on 32 weeks, just like a size of acorn squash. Judged by her gestational age, she was born in good condition and with a great weight which is 1.9kg. I heard her crying very loud when I was still lying on the surgery table and unfortunately I can't see her face at all, because the pediatric immediately brought her to NICU for observation.

My brain can't stop thinking while my obgyn finalized her job to sew up my belly and it made me wide awake. Not because of scared but I just want to watch the doctors perform the surgery, like watching Greys Anatomy but this one is real. Also it can distract my brain from worry about my baby.

Before I gave birth I was hospitalized for almost a week and my Obgyn gave me five dose of Corticosteroids (lung maturity injection). It can make the baby's lung more mature and indeed we better get that injection because the prediction of premature birth. 

I felt constant contraction and it hurt very much, I even can't move my body from lying to sit. Giving birth during pandemic is another story to tell and actually it make everyhting worse.

One day passed-I need to recover from c-section first, such as learn to sit, walk and to make sure that the suture is in well condition. Finally I can see my baby, she is very beautiful, looks firm and strong. Tiny but mighty. They put her in an open box and wrap in palstic, they will move her to incubator if she is more steady. As far as I can see, her skin was so delicate and looks so transparent, just to cover a flesh and a very little amount of fat.

Of course I'm crying the first time I met her but it was a tears of joy. I just feel so grateful to finally meet her and I can see that she is strong and a warrior. Strong like her mama, even more.

As predicted they install CPAP ventilation on my baby, NGT, many IV and a lot of cables that I don't even know the name, all I know those things is to keep my baby alive.

Long short story, the CPAP was unplug on seventh day but I still can't hold her in my arms. I don't know why the doctor don't let me practice Kangaroo Mother Care (KMC) as soon as possible, she seems steady. But yes the pediatrician know the best. So I can't make another pressure.

After a lot of screenings, blood test and phototeraphy, we decided to make a request to hospital management to transfer my baby to government hospital. Because the NICU fee at current private hospital is very expensive. The bill running down like a leak faucet and it almost reach the insurance limit and actually we need pediatrician second opinion as well.

Transfer a NICU baby to government hospital was not an easy process and fortunately we got lucky to transfer her on the same day we made a request. I call my cousin who work at that hospital, asking for help to contact the pediatrician to accept my baby on their NICU and yes it called privilege.

On the new hospital she got a new treatment, she can drank a lot of breast milk from a bottle, start from 10ml per 2 hours up to 20 ml per 2 hours. On the previous hospital she only allowed to drink 1ml per 3-4 hours because of weak digestion. They admit her to Perina room, no more NICU and of course that was a good news.

Eventough I can't meet my baby everyday because of Covid-19 protocol (they update the visitor policy) but I can do KMC on third day. The feeling to hold my baby for the first time after a quite long journey was remarkable. They make the KMC time limited to one hour only and it include the time to learn how to do a breast feeding to my preemie baby.

The advantage in the previous hospital is I can visit my baby whenever I want and as long as I want because she was the only patient there. The limit of ventilator machine make they only admit one NICU patient at a time.

Everyday I drop a bags of breast milk to the Nurse and I am beyond grateful because she can drink all of the breast milk and it increase my spirit to pump my breast milk.

Finally the day has come, the day I can bring her home. She spent nine days in the second hospital. Now I can hug her everytime I want and actually it's such a way to caring a preemie baby, it called Kangaroo Mother Care (KMC).

My baby's pediatrician ask me to do KMC 24/7 to keep her warm, to boost her weight (increase her appetite) and they believe it can increase breast milk production as well. Actually, every babies need to get a skin to skin contact, not only a preemie. Because it's their live transition from a warm and safe womb to the world that have a lof of germs and challenge 😂. Baby need to have a smooth adaptation process, don't expect them to be an independent human being in an instant.

I did a research about a preemie, like how to take a very gentle care of this tiny baby, how to feed her and how to control her temperature. Usually preemie baby is too weak to do a Direct Breast Feeding (DBF) because of weak suction, so we use many method to feed the baby like using a cup feeder, SNS system and OGT or NGT. 

On this case I use a bottle so the baby can get more milk and I can catch her correction weight. I need to count how much milk she can take per hour and usually a preemie need additional formula/vitamin to mix in the breast milk which is Human Milk Fortifier (HMF). It really boost the weight of my baby and alhamdulillah we can catch her correction weight just in time. Every baby is different, some may tolerate HMF and some baby just can't take it. She need to consume 18 sachet of HMF per day so I don't have any chance to feed her directly from my breast. She can drink milk directly at four month cronological age and i thinks  it is another time for my relactation story.

For their age, preemie baby has three age:
1. Gestational age, we use this age until 50 weeks. Following the normal pregnancy period.
2. Chronological age, baby actual age.
3. Correction age, following the week the baby was born. We usually use  correction age until the baby reach two years old and three years old for an extreme premature. Correction age as a benchmark for their growth and developement .

To keep in mind, preemie baby need to do a lot of screenings. The most important are:
1. Eye-Retinophaty of Prematurity (ROP)
2. Echocardiography (heart USG)
3. Head-USG to check if there are some blood on the brain, etc. It need to check since born and before the fontanelle closes.
4. ENT-OAE and BERA
5. Blood screening.

On my baby case, she got two screening on the first hospital which is for heart and head. It was a little bit late to know that eye is very urgent and top priority to check. I did the screening on 40 week gestation age and thankfully my baby didn't have any ROP but she got a little thing on her heart and I believe she can make through it. We will continue to do quarterly screening for her heart.

She teach me how to life the live the moment I heard her crying.
She teach me how to survive in the glass box called incubator.
She teach me that there is always silver linings even on the darkest cloud.

My baby girl and any other preemie in the whole world is a true warrior.

She is destined to be greatness.

Preemie parents is not a failure, they are the strongest and the one who really can learn from a mistake. Learn how not to blame all the things to themselves and to accept that everything happen for a reason.
Afterall, every good mother is a strong and brave creature.

This dunya is the field of tests and God promise there is a reward in the afterlife.

So, cherish every moment with your baby. It only happen in very short time. Enjoy while it last mama.
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March 5, 2021

Ulasan ( Review) Dokter Kandungan (Obgyn) dan Rumah Sakit (RS) di Brawijaya Duren Tiga

Sejak awal mengetahui tentang kehamilan pertama ini, gw memang sudah berencana dan hanya berminat untuk kontrol kehamilan di RS Brawijaya Duren Tiga. Ada beberapa alasan kenapa gw memilih RS ini:

  1. Faktor jarak, dekat banget dengan domisili saat ini. Apalagi di era pandemi Covid-19 ini ya bun, rasanya lebih aman kalau pergi ke yang dekat-dekat aja.
  2. Rekomendasi dokter hasil surfing di google, ada salah satu dokter yang ingin gw coba untuk konsul, yaitu dr. Laksmi Maharani, Sp.OG. *(nanti kita review  lebih lanjut ya bun)
  3. RS Brawijaya ini cukup punya nama, gw dari dulu taunya yang di daerah Kemang. Cabang di duren tiga dulunya bernama Rumah Sakit Ibu dan Anak Duren Tiga, ganti manajemen pada 7 November 2018.
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June 30, 2020

The Importance of Counseling With a Psychologist

The Struggle is Real

I understand the situation can be challenging at the moment for some people. We all have anxiety and there is no need to be embarrassed about that. We just need to let our self to accept the situation. Go seek for professional help if you need it. (I believe you all need it ☺️)

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Pandemi Covid-19 di Jakarta


Lucu yaaa.. Lucu banget negeri dongeng yang penuh drama kumbara ini..

I used to like and voted for Mr. #1

But now I can't even say a thing about him without getting too emotional, angry, disappointed, embarrassed, anxiety and other bad feelings.

I used to ignore and feel sorry for my parents when they bad mouthing about him. But now I realized that I was wrong. We shouldn't get too amazed by him built many infrastructure, it is his job to make this country a great place and it is a crystal clear it shouldn't make him the only great person in this country. I am starting to wonder what is his main and top secret goal actually. Hmm..

In here I have no intention to harm him.

Ini negara kita tanggung jawab kita bersama. Jangan bergantung dan memuja ataupun menyalahkan satu manusia. Sering denger kan kalimat "jangan terlalu memuja dan bergantung pada manusia, pujalah penciptaNya". Jika seorang manusia menggantungkan nasib atau takdir kepada manusia lain, maka rasa putus asa akan lebih dekat dari urat nadi kita.

I'm curious if our country get laughed by other countries or not. I think (and probably what mostly everyone thinking) we need to learn from our neighbour such as Vietnam, Taiwan and even Timor Leste for God sake!!
It is true that some of 'em have the least of citizens, but what they have in common? DISCIPLINE and A GOOD GOVERNMENT/CITIZENS. I understand now why Timor Leste want to be INDEPENDENT!

Jika pemerintah bertindak tegas setegas-tegas nya, maka rakyat yang bodoh ini akan patuh.. Tugas pemimpin untuk bisa memutuskan sesuatu yg bijak dalam hitungan detik. Mana mungkin kita akan borong baju lebaran atau apapun jika departemen store diwajibkan tutup. Di sini saya malu banget sih karena sebagian besar dari mereka cari baju buat lebaran..mau dipakai kemana bro sis? Kalo lebaran masih ada yang open house wah gila sih, no kaleng-kaleng lah sebagian besar warga kita.

Gak mungkin warga berani keluar kalau pintu tol ditutup dan dijaga TNI-AD full with their gear. Airport dan port juga ditutup dan dijaga TNI-AL, tim gegana, tim damkar, tim satgas, tim SWAT, tim CSI (eh monmaap kebanyakan nonton criminal drama).

Padahal sudah ada kisahnya di Zaman Nabi bagaimana cara menghadapi wabah "Jangan kau masuki ataupun keluar dari daerah yang sedang tertimpa wabah". Kita memang bukan negara Islam, hanya negara dengan mayoritas muslim, tetapi pemimpin kami Islam (sejauh yg kebanyakan orang tau), banyak alim ulama, ada MUI.. Tetapi kenapa gak mengikuti ajaran Nabi Muhammad SAW (peace be upon him). Astagfirullah.

source: republika.co.id

Coba kita jadikan renungan, di Asia kita salah satu negara yang termasuk belakangan disambangi virus Covid-19. Tapi kita bukannya belajar cara antisipasi dari negara terdahulu, tapi malah sibuk bikin meme kalo warga +62 kebal Covid-19, sibuk bikin meme "kita gak takut Corona tapi lebih takut banjir", "Corona takut datang karena kita lagi banjir". I am the one who laughed at those dreadful jokes to be honest and I am ashamed of it. Justru Tuhan tunjukkan kasih sayangnya dengan datengin  ujian secara satu persatu.


Ohh come on.. Why destroy our people? our city? our neighbor? Is it possible if all of this theory are the super plan? Why  government didn't do any prevention at the very first place. I AM ANGRY, SCARE AND SAD to find the truth. Truth is always painful but honesty is all we need. I don't believe in white lies.

For now it is useless to regret some things, just find a way to make things better.. Find a solution. Probably lock down the country? Anyone with me? Full lock down for at least two weeks. CUT THE CHAIN.

Don't ever say it can destroy our economy situation. Ada gak ada Covid-19 ekonomi kita emang udh gak jelas. Lock down gak lock down sekarang perekonomian udah gak jelas.. PHK, cuti tidak berbayar, bisnis mulai gulung tikar, itu semua yang dihasilkan oleh PSBB yang membingungkan.. Mau sampai kapan?

Banyak omongan "jangan share yang negatif-negatif gaes, bisa ngerusak imun". Oh sorry justru gw ngerasa imun dan spirit gw bertambah dengan kaya gini. You do you. JANGAN NGATUR.

My apology again, but that is just so stupid in my personal opinion.. Kita dianugerahkan akal dan anggota tubuh untuk digunakan sebaik-baik nya.. Kalo gak digunain itu namanya mubazir.

At least I never use my fingers to Julid the celebrity and never did an useless fighting on whatsapp group or in comment column. This is not Julid nor comment, it called SPEAK UP! Find the differences please peeps.

I rarely see (or maybe I just don't know) the nowadays so called celebrity aka influencer sharing about this matter. Or maybe there are, but I just don't know it, because my knowledge of celebrity is very limited and I'm too lazy to do a research for this kind of thing. Is it possible if they save themselves first from being dislike? and oh you know what? I don't give a shit about that.. What is right is right..

I do realized that some celebrity and famous peeps do the their part  with made a huge donation, rise the charity, virtual donation concert and many more. But until when to be exact? Only God knows. No, I don't mean to blame them or anyone, if we need someone to be blame there is no one other than ourselves. If we the citizens don't stop the spread of the virus, I believe it can occur forever.

On another hand, probably just my another 50 cent, people who went around to the super crowded mall (department store) and  traditional public market don't know if there are tons of online stores around us. They have a promo as well, just like in the mall. They also sell vegetables, rice and many things. Peeps who went to an airport and to a junk food restaurant for a very stupid non sense reason maybe have zero access to information and technology. ((Yes I am just being sarcastic here)). I think they are just a new generation of an era, Covidiot.

I wish I can make an open letter to Mr. #1, but at this point I'm sure he doesn't even care anymore with his people's thought. He Just don't care with how his people will feel and react. Oh I just remember that I have the media to make an useless open letter.

What I'm trying to say in here.. If our leader can't take care of us, we are the one who have the responsibility to take care of ourselves and our beloved ones. If everyone can do that I believe the virus can slow the speed down from spreading.. STOP BEING A CARRIER!

My prayers goes to all medical team, all of them, the one who works in the first line and in the end of the line. The ones who work without prejudice. Works with heart, sincerity, affectionate and many other good things that idk.. They took an oath so they need to obey as well.. But actually they can run away from it if they are shameless and don't have something that we usually called HUMANITY.

Last one, I don't  want to leave behind my appreciation to the Journalist who still working with passion and sincerity. Keep the spirit up and always give us the true news.

GOOD LUCK!  May the peace be upon you!
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May 31, 2018

Pesona Ka'bah di Tanah Haram

Alhamdulillah di tahun 2018 ini gw berkesempatan untuk dipanggil ke rumah Allah SWT, Masjidili Haram untuk menjalankan ibadah Umrah selama sembilan hari. Memang ini bukanlah kali pertama gw menginjakan kaki di Tanah Suci, kebetulan gw brojol di Jeddah dan jadilah bebas bisa kapan aja ke Medinah ataupun Mekkah. Tapi ternyata yang gw rasakan saat pertama kali melihat Ka'bah itu berbeda banget dengan waktu kecil. Hmm ya iya lah waktu kecil gw kan gak paham apa-apa, gak punya dosa, saat ibadah pun masih digendong-gendong Papa. Kalau sekarang dosa nya udah banyak kali yaa (pasti sih bukan kali lagi :p ) jadi langsung bergetar hati saat melihat Ka'bah, air mata pun tidak bisa ditahan untuk tidak mengalir.

Bukan bermaksud berlebihan tetapi gw sendiri juga gak nyangka bakal ngerasain itu semua. Sebenarnya agak sulit untuk menceritakan tentang perjalanan ini, karena sifat nya lebih personal ataupun habluminallah. Jadi gw nanti akan lebih banyak share hasil jepretan ala kadarnya.

Suasanya ramainya Ka'bah saat dikelilingi oleh manusia dari berbagai penjuru bumi. Semua hanya karena mengharapkan ridha Allah SWT, memohon ampun, memanjatkan doa dan beribadah.

Ngomong-ngomong tentang hasil jepretan ataupun dokumentasi, ternyata sekarang udah bebas banget ya menggunakan handphone di Masjidil Haram maupun Masjid Nabawi. Berbeda banget dengan sekitar tahun 1990-an, gadget kamera saku saat itu bener- bener dilarang, kalau kita ngeluarin handphone di Masjid bisa dimarahin abis-abisan sama Askar (penjaga masjid). Tapi karena sekarang memang sudah digital era dan penggunaan gadget pun sudah tidak bisa dibendung lagi, maka menurut gw yang terpenting adalah pengendalian diri dari jamaah dan ingat dengan tujuan utama datang ke sana untuk apa lagi kalau bukan untuk ibadah dengan khusyuk. 

Ada sedikit cerita, saat dini hari waktu pertama kali melakukan ibadah Umrah, tepatnya saat Thawaf (mengelilingi Ka'bah sebanyak tujuh kali) ada bapak-bapak paruh baya yang nekat memvideokan ibadahnya itu. Gw ngeliatnya sih percaya gak percaya, kok bisa-bisanya ada orang yang berbuat seperti itu, gimana caranya bisa ngobrol sama Allah SWT kalo dia sendiri masih sibuk mikirin dunianya. Nah itulah, mungkin saat itu si bapak belum sadar untuk membedakan urusan di dunia dan di akhirat. Mungkin si bapak masih ingin eksis di sosmed ataupun sekedar memperlihatkan ke saudara-saudara dan kawan-kawan di tanah air nanti. Namun akhirnya setelah besoknya ditegur baik-baik oleh Ustad saat kajian barulah si bapak mengerti, yang penting pada akhirnya bisa berubah kan. Manusia memang lucu.

Sebetulnya pada awalnya gw gak terlalu niat untuk berangkat Umrah, dengan alasan belum merasa "terpanggil" dan gak rela uang tabungan terkuras. Tetapi setelah gw pikir-pikir ini kan untuk ibadah dan rezeki sudah diatur oleh Allah SWT, jadi hayuk sajalah. Mungkin memang ini sudah saatnya gw kembali menginjakkan kaki di Tanah Haram. Mendekati hari H gw pun juga semakin bersemangat  untuk Umrah bersama Maghfirah Travel dan merasa tidak sabar untuk bisa secara langsung melihat Ka'bah lagi.




Overall, biro perjalanan ini cukup memuaskan karena para ustadz yang disediakan oleh mereka dapat dinilai sangat bagus. Dilihat dari materi kajian yang mereka sajikan, doa-doa yang mereka bantu lafalkan, semuanya sangat menyentuh hati dan para ustadz ini sangat sabar menghadapi jamaah yang jumlahnya sangat banyak.

Tetapi karena program yang gw gunakan judulnya adalah Budget Umrah jadi jangan ngarep dapat hotel bagus dan makanan enak, semua serba ala kadarnya. Jadilah selama di Mekkah untuk makan gw selalu jajan setiap hari, karena didukung oleh faktor kangen berat sama masakan-masakan Arab.

Renovasi terus berlangsung sepanjang tahun di Masjidil Haram


Makkah Royal Clock Tower, a Fairmont Hotel. Hanya berjarak 50meter dari masjid dan merupakan salah satu bangunan tertinggi di dunia dengan 76 lantai dan di atas menara terdapat jam terbesar di dunia.



Oh ya, di kota Mekkah ini gw juga kagum dengan banyaknya burung yang berterbangan dan mencari makanan di sekitar Masjidil Haram. Sejauh penglihatan gw tidak ada satupun burung yang berterbangan di atas Masjid, menarik bukan? Burung-burung tersebut seolah ingin menghindari tempat suci tersebut karena takut tidak sengaja membuang kotorannya. Burung-burung ini suka terbang ke arah manusia yang hilir mudik, tetapi tidak ada yang nabrak ataupun membuang kotoran secara tidak sengaja di atas kepala jamaah.




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